im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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