i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
