remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
