But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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