help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My vagina is very pro this idea
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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