She is in my trunk
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
so much tequila, so little girl.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
