six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
All I want is dick and wine.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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