Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
