come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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