either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
