I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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