Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
