This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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