I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
