I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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