i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
