You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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