barbara walters just said penis...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
