im holly from the hills drunk
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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