Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
