We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize