what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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