Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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