Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
