I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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