i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
