Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize