I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
