Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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