our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
