Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
