You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We're too hungover to prance.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
