Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
