Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize