how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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