someone owes me an orgasm
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
