is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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