when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
