It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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