I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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