DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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