the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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