i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize