You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
