We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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