i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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