I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
do herpes really smell.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think I sprained my soul last night
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize