hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
