She is in my trunk
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
