Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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