who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize