Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
