I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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