he shaved USA in his pubs
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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