he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wear drunk well.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize