um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my sisters under your porch take her home
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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