you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
