is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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