so let's talk penis.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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