I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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