apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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