and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
