Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
